So I have been on a diet for about 5 weeks now with no cheating. Tonight at church we had tables set up with bread and grape juice to dip the bread in for communion. That was the best dadgum grapejuice-soaked bread I have ever had! I looked at Aaron and said you know I'm on a diet when I want to go back for seconds at the communion table :)
OH MY GOODNESS! I soooo wish I had the video camera out tonight! We had Hannah Montana the movie in and Aubrey in just her diaper was dancing her little heart out. She has the funniest and biggest personality I have seen in a 1 year old! Aaron and I were rolling. I started crying I was laughing so hard. She was in the middle of the living room during the "Climb" song shaking her booty and she held her hand up like it was a microphone and turned around and was pretending like she was singing into her microphone :) LOL! She then proceeded to throw her hands up and do spirit fingers and say WHOOOOO really loud! It was the greatest thing I have ever seen! She has seen her big sis do that a few times! It was pure greatness!
Well, everyone, it is official. I am really ready for farming season to be over. I MISS MY HUSBAND. I see him often enough, but we don't have the time for quality time and our schedule is all based around deliveries and trips to Dallas and Ft. Worth and to the farm. When we do see each other it has been a little tense, never really being able to relax and have much fun together. We never have a full day off together. I really and truly do not want to sound ungrateful. I can hear Aaron's voice ringing in my head right now...'don't be negative.' That is not it all! I know that I couldn't stay home without this business, and I know this is a HUGE blessing and way that God takes care of us. It is just such hard work and takes a lot of sacrifices to run a small business like ours. I also know that when God calls you to do things, it's not always easy and does take time and sacrifices and lots of hard work. You have to sometimes pay the price to reap the benefit! This year has been strange and has felt hard. We had a couple of people trying to get their hands in the business and threaten us a little bit, which we think is just all talk, and we know God is on our side, but it still shakes your nerves a little. I am so thankful to God for this and for providing for us, and I am grateful for my hardworking husband and my dad who helps us out tremendously. I am just ready to relax a little, to have a more flexible schedule and to be able to plan family outings and vacations together, which none would be at all possible without the farming. I am ready for our focuses to be on each other and our kids and the plans God has for us with this 24 hour prayer thing. I look forward to waking up with my husband and having breakfast with him. Thank you Lord for Reeves Family Farm, and thank you for the down time that we are about to receive soon as well. Finish out this season as long as you know we need it. I know you know how much we need. You are our provider. Thank you Lord! We give it to you. It's all in your hands...thank goodness!
I just wanted to update a couple of things Aubrey is saying now. First she calls Alyssa "Lilla" and Lucy, our dog "Sussy." She will be standing in the hallway and Alyssa will be in another room and she will be shouting, "Lilla, Lilla." It is soooo stinkin cute! Then of course she yells at me "EAT" when she is hungry. The other day she crawled up in her highchair by herself and was literally yelling at me "EAT. EAT." Yesterday she was saying it and I said ready to eat and she told me "Ready." Later she said "Ready to eat." She probably is saying more than I think because she is catching me off guard most of the time....I think to myself, did she just say that? Last night Aaron was holding her and Alyssa in the rocking chair and Alyssa was crying. Aubrey looked over at her and patted her on her arm and said "It's ok." Aaron said did you just say it's ok? And she smiled and said it again. This morning Kyle was here and she said, "hi Kydle." Sweet, funny girl! Some of the other funny things she does is say "WOW" and if we drive over a bump in the car she says, very animated, "WHOA!" I could go on, but as I am typing this she is hollering at me "EAT." So I better go feed her. We slept late this morning.....late breakfast.
Note to self...Aubrey does not like lasagna or pizza so stop thinking it is a phase and she will learn to like it! But... who doesn 't like pizza or lasagna? Apparently my 18 month old! She LOVES steamed spinach, raw broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce, and tomatoes, but she will not eat lasagna or pizza. I think she is going to be my veggie lover! I can't complain at all about that, but on nights like tonight, when I need to fix something quick, it would be nice for her to eat the frozen dish I made. As I was preparing her plate, she was looking at me yelling, "EAT. Ready to EAT." So I put her in her highchair and placed her plate of lasagna and steamed broccoli and cauliflower in front of her. She starts crying and throwing the biggest fit I have seen. Through her big tears, she is eating all of her broccoli and cauliflower, but I guess is throwing the fit about the lasagna. She finally stopped crying and I tried to give her a bite, thinking that she would love it if she just tried it...NOT! I made her take a bite and she started crying and spit it out like it was dirt and told me "EWW." She does this with pizza too. She will eat spaghetti for some reason, but not the lasagna or pizza. She will be my little healthy eater! I guess I will have to order her a salad on pizza night.
This morning I was snuggling in bed with Alyssa, and I looked over and she was sucking her thumb. I asked her what are you doing? She has never sucked her thumb before. She looked up at me and said, "Mom, I am going to start sucking my thumb because I want braces." Funny, yes, but I hope she really doesn't get this in her head and start sucking her thumb. Braces are too expensive. I should've put the clues together. She kept asking me questions like 'do people that only have messed up teeth need braces?' I said yes, some people are born with messed up teeth, and some people mess their own up by sucking their thumb. Oops! How on earth was I to know that her little mind was trying to figure out a way to get braces.
Have you ever been in a church service and the whole time the pastor is speaking, you are thinking...'is he talking directly to me?' How did he get in my head?' Well, that very thing happened to me today in church. It actually all started this past week. I started feeling this small conviction about relationships and how I was in a place of being lousy with them. God was talking to me all week long about this. I am going to be totally open and honest and say that I have been purposely avoiding relationships with people this whole summer. My reason is stupid but, to me at the time felt necessary. I felt as though if I had anything else on my plate that my head would explode. Even if that meant meeting someone for lunch. Things that should've been fun to me seemed like a chore, just one more thing I had to pile onto the schedule, so I made a bad choice and decided to become a hermit and shut people out. It became about me and what I needed and at the time I felt I needed to be left alone. So wrong. So all week long God kept showing me where I hadn't been the greatest friend to people. Just in my mind one excuse after the next played in my head. Not only had I put my relationship with people on the back burner, I also put my relationship with God on the back burner. I stopped spending as much time talking with Him and reading. And in the back of my head thought...well, He knows how busy we are right now so it's ok and He still loves me. That is so true..He does know how busy we are and He does still love me, but I started to feel empty. I started feeling rejected from people and felt a longing for God's presence and for my Godly friends. I missed it so much! So God had already been tugging at my heart and softening it all week....I think to prepare me for the message Keith had today. Worship time was AMAZING! God immediately showed up. I can't even tell you how awesome it felt to be in His presence like that again. It was so awesome! I tend to cry when God's presence falls and often times can't quit crying. That is how it was today. Cried all through worship and didn't want it to end. So then Keith gets up and starts talking about relationships and the importance of relationships in our lives. One of the things he said was isn't it sad when Christians today are viewed as judmental people always looking down on others judging them and being legalistic about everything, And not viewed as people who love. The way Christians are viewed by most of the world is the total opposite of what Jesus stands for. That's because there is lack of relationship with people. Out of relationship love is birthed. WOW! REVELATION! I don't want to stand for that! He also said something along the lines if you don't know this, you don't really know God. OH NO! Talk about conviction! God had been trying to tell me this all week. Not only do I need relationships in my life, I need to be engaging other people relationally and loving them where they are. I could really go on, but this blog is already long. I just want to say that I want to love like Jesus loves. I am not even close to being there yet, but I want to be there! I am sorry to any of you friends I have blown off. It's not you...it was me! This is something I have struggled with for a while..feeling overwhelmed, and this is something I know I will still struggle with, but now God has shown me what He desires for me, and that is to be relational. We can't be the light of the world He has called us to be if we are always avoiding relationships and hiding in our own little world...our little safe places. I am working on tearing down my walls. Friends of mine.... please know that I am working on it and God is doing his thing and forgive me if I haven't been the best of friend to you. I see it now!
I admittedly and openly have had trouble accepting the baby flabby stomach since I have given birth to Alyssa. I always said I want a tummy tuck when I am done having kids...but I changed my mind. I may never wear a bikini ever again no matter how skinny I get, but something in me has changed. I find myself proud of my baby tummy. It reminds me of how precious my sweet girls are and how we have to pay the price to receive something priceless. I may still have my moments of seeing other moms in bikinis and think it's not fair. That jealousy may rise up from time to time, but I think I am just in a better place right now with the way I view myself. It helps that my husband is blinded by love and thinks I am the most beautiful thing that God ever made. Well...he makes me feel that way anyway. I am a lucky girl and am no longer going to focus on those stupid things that I can't change. They don't define who I am, God does, and if He wants me to have a baby belly for the rest of my life, then so be it! We are stuck with each other. It only took me 4 1/2 years to get here...whewwww...glad I made it.
Ok. So I have to brag because I have NEVER been told this before and it couldn't have come at a better time...when I am 30. Aaron and I were in Brookshires tonight and the very young high school looking girl at the cash register that was checking us out, was looking at us funny and she said....I don't want to offend you, but are you 2 married? You look too young to be married. WHAT!!!!!!! In no way was I offended! She asked us how old we were and Aaron told her and said we have 2 kids and she acted like she couldn't believe it. She wanted to know how long we had been married and I told her almost 7 years and she said she couldn't believe we were still in love the way we were and that she hoped to find love like that one day. It was very sweet and encouraging. Made my week. Aaron is very young looking and has a cute little baby face. Maybe I look younger standing close to him. I Love having a husband that makes me look good!
Okie Dokie...so we were just at the table eating lunch...me, Alyssa and Aubrey, and Alyssa says to me as she was taking a bite of her green bean..."mom, I got a new bra." Again with the boobies I am thinking. She raises up her shirt and what is it I see strapped across her chest?.....a maxi pad. She said, " do you like my new bra." Oh yes I said through my laughter. She told me "mom my boobies are little bitty and yours are big. I only need this little bra." That girl is so funny all the time and doesn't mean to be.
Another thing that I wanted to blog about was her movie quotes she has been saying. We don't have TV..only DVD...so we watch the same 4 or 5 movies over and over at our house. We were in the car the other day and she started quoting Annie "I gotta go bathroom." and was saying it just like Carol Burnette in the movie. Then Aubrey in her own little language started mimicking along and saying it too. So now this is a joke between the 3 of us. When one of us says "I gotta go bathroom..." the other 2 chime in right after and repeats it. Another random one she said today was from the little cartoon at the beginning of the Parent Trap...." John they're playing our song,' "Marsha, what fools we were.'" hehehe! So random!
Also...Aubrey is so sweet.. After EVERYTHING I give her, whether it be a drink or a bath she looks up at me and says thank you. Also when we are leaving anywhere she has to make sure she tells EVERYONE bye bye at least 2-3 times each and never leaves anyone out. She is such a little social butterfly!
This year was Alyssa's first year to go to VBS. We go to New Hope Christian Church in Wylie where we live and love it there. The staff is awesome...and the youth and children's church ministries are the best! I have to say....I wasn't expecting it to be such a big deal as it was! I remember going to VBS at Church of Christ in Princeton, and I LOVED it. I still remember all the songs and I remember Terry Jackson, the pastor at the time, leading worship with the puppets...and I remember my Memaw serving me iced animal crackers and Kool-aid in a dixie cup, and doing crafts. It was great, but compared to New Hope, it was small potatoes. They had the whole entire church decorated so stinkin cute! The theme was "Crocodile Dock." They had a scene on the stage set up that looked like a crocodile swamp with a boat and a fisherman, and they had all crocodile dock characters hung up all over the walls. It was so cute! All the kids wore their same little green tshirts the whole week! Every night Alyssa came home singing a new song and telling me what she learned about Jesus., and every day she kept asking me when was it going to be time to go to VBS again, so I know she was having a good time and looking forward to it everyday. Well, tonight was our last night and we, the parents, got to come a little early and listen to each age group sing a different song. I am kicking myself now because I wasn't prepared. If I had known how stinkin cute it was going to be, I would've taken my camera and video camera and invited a few people to come along....like the grandparents. All the kids did such a great job, but Alyssa shined so bright to me! I actually thought she would be a little shy and be the one that wasn't singing but was trying to find me in the crowd, but she surprised both me and Aaron. She sang so good and danced so good! You should've seen her! I couldn't have been prouder! I'm real emotional when it comes to my kiddos... I was so proud I couldn't stand it and started to tear up. I had to fight not to cry! Sometimes I just get this HUGE sense of pride and joy of being a mom that I just can't contain it, and it often comes out as tears! Sappy I know but true. This was one of those moments. It was a night I will always remember for the rest of my life. Such a precious little memory of my sweet Alyssa singing with overexaggerated expressions on her face and dancing to the song.."I get down...He lifts me up" by the Newsboys! I LOVED every second of it! I was soooo born to be a momma! I am thankful to all the workers and volunteers and teenagers that gave up their evenings this week to pour into my child and love on all the kids! So thankful!
The other day I was watching Emmy and Kyle for Savita while she was taking Avery to the eye doctor. Anyway, I had some things I needed to do, so I loaded the kids up in the car and started off. Kyle always loves to tell me very random stories while I am driving. This particular day he told me a very elaborate story about his quest to kill all the rabbits :) You see, my brother has a garden in his backyard that consists of 120 tomato vines and pepper plants and blackberry vines. They are also infested with rabbits that have made it a habbit to come over to the Gilbert's house every night for dinner. So Steve has made it his mission to weed out the rabbits and save the garden! Ya really can't blame him for that one! All that work and you come out and your berry vines are whittled down to nothing. He tried traps, but I think they just kept mulitplying. I guess Kyle also has been trained to kill the bunnies because as I was driving he told me..."Aunt Stacy....Sometimes I get on my dirtbike and I like to go shoot all the rabbits. I love shooting the rabbits, but I can't shoot the baby rabbits, only the big ones. " Poor wittle wabbits better watch out! Like Father like Son...double trouble!