I have been reading all these other blogs on my sidebar about how God is providing for all these adoptions for inspiration and encouragement. Honestly sometimes they leave me sad, but most of the time they make me feel hopeful. Sometimes it's hard to imagine yourself special enough for God to use you in big ways or provide for you in big ways. I'm glad that the reality of that is that we don't have to be special or jump through any hoops for God to love us any more than He already does, or care just as much as He does about the next person. To be honest, this whole adoption experience this far hasn't been the most pleasant or uplifting experience. It started out great. We got "the call," and I will say it again, was the most amazing God experience I think my heart has felt since I first decided to give my heart to Jesus. It was so exciting and just unbelievable to hear God speaking so loud and clear about everything. The one thing He didn't tell us at that time was that this road wasn't going to be an easy one to walk. There's always a price, whether it be financial or emotional. We knew about the financial, and even somewhat knew of the possibilities of the emotional, but was kinda hoping that it would be smooth sailing for us...you know...we were being optimistic:)
Have I mentioned before that I have an awesome husband? I just want to brag a little on the man behind this woman. He's always positive and so full of faith. I don't know if I can remember a time when he worried about money. When my faith is low, Aaron's is always high. He keeps reminding me that it's not easy because God is stretching us and growing us along the way. I totally believe that, but can be whiny about it too. Aaron encourages me to always see the Jesus in every situation. It's not hard to do, when I have a man who to me mirrors the heart of Jesus and cheers me on. When I am feeling beat down, he'll say "Honey put on your shield of faith." I'm a blessed woman!
So anyway, if I sound a little down in this post, it's because I kinda am, but I am still full of hope. I am holding on tight to that!
Our pastor, Keith has been doing a series at our church on seeds. Pretty much for the last 3 Sundays, they have been words that I felt were spoken just for me. I love that I can go and get refreshed and learn something new each week. He talked about holding onto your commitments and not letting go, and not going to a place of apathy but running after those commitments. So that is what we are gonna do. Our whole time of waiting is over. We are ready to move forward. We have felt like God is saying, 'What are you waiting for? I said go, now run.'
So we will run the race.
"So therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely and let us run with endurance this race that is set before us." Heb. 12:1
I will be posting some changes we have decided on soon.