Just sad :( Warning...this post is a bit whiny and a big vent!

Well, since I haven't given any update since our son was officially declared our son by the Ethiopian government, I thought maybe I should give you all who are interested a follow up. To be honest things haven't been so wonderful! This part of the process has been hands down, the. absolute. hardest. part! I think it is definitely one of the hardest things, if not, the hardest thing I have had to endure in my entire adult life. I totally didn't expect this at all! I thought to myself {before we met him}, 'we have been waiting over a year-and-a-half, having to wait a little longer after the first trip won't be bad. I am use to this waiting thing!' Yeah right!
This, my friends, is a whole new ballgame. First of all, I did not expect all that the Lord had for me when we went to Ethiopia and met our Josiah Moti, not at all. I didn't have a clue how my heart would feel. So there was no way to prepare for leaving without him. It just plain hurts really bad! Imagine your own child or children, and having to leave them on the other side of the world...same exact thing! Another part is that nobody gets it!!! Unless they have been in your shoes with adoption, and prayed for, and fought for, and traveled half-way around the world for a child,and then had to leave him there, there is no understanding. You want to whine and cry on someone's shoulder, but you can't, because they don't get it! You feel like you have worn out your welcome in talking about him or Ethiopia, like people have heard enough about it, but you just can't keep your mouth shut, because it is on your mind 24/7! You are even timid to ask people to pray, because you fear they are sick of thinking about your life and praying for this over and over. But deep down you don't really care, because you know prayer is the only thing that you have right now, so you ask anyway! Helpless is a great word for it! There isn't a single thing you can do to make the process go any quicker. You just have to wait. In the meantime you get updates and pictures that only torture your heart more, but you can't wait until you get the next one!!!! You spend your days wanting to pray, but not wanting to think too much about it, or you will start crying again and getting angry! It's emotionally exhausting! Also I am aware that there is some warfare. Satan is upping his ballgame here at the end, because he knows he is losing the battle. One of God's fatherless children now is about to have a forever family, and that makes him super angry! So watch out for all the arrows! Pray it up, and put on your armor daily!
In saying all that, there are some good things coming out of this tough wait! It is drawing our hearts closer to our son, because we are fighting to get him home daily with our prayers. And it is drawing our hearts closer to the Lord, because He is all we have to lean on and rely on right now...literally! There isn't anything more or less we could do!
I was thinking the other day about what we could take from this, and I felt like the Lord showed me that later, when someone else we know is walking in these shoes, we will know exactly how they feel, and we can be that extra support for them! He let's us walk through things and experience hurts and pains so that we will know, just as Jesus did! He came here and lived on Earth to experience our same hurts and pains, so He would know! Now we know! We DEFINITELY know!
One thing I would like to say is to anyone who thinks this is over-the-top, because it is a child we only met once and barely know. YOU ARE WRONG! Just because I didn't grow him in my tummy , doesn't mean that he isn't loved like our girls! That is exactly how our hearts feel! We love him as much as we love our girls! HE IS OURS, and we want him home, and being separated from him now, is heartbreaking literally!!!! The Lord had already declared a decree in heaven and in our hearts that he was our son, long before the Ethiopian governement officially declared it!
So please pray for this end of our journey, and pray for all the other families and children who are in the same boat as us!
We are now just waiting on his birth certificate to come in and for his paperwork to be submitted to the US Embassy. It has already taken longer for this part than usual. Please pray that the rest is quick and smooth, and no trouble!!!
Pray for our girls as they prepare to welcome their brother home. Aaron and I are trying to do our best to focus our time on them right now and pour into them before we leave for our next trip to Ethiopia! So we will be doing more fun things as a family until that time comes! Pray that we do a good job at including them and making them feel a part of this, and that they will be so excited to see their brother when he comes home!
To all the other families waiting! I love you and have a deep appreciation for what you are going through, whatever stage you are at! Keep on keeping on! Our kids are worth every bit of it! Prayers and hugs to you all!